Chuck Norris is a bad-ass!

Chuck Norris & the "stuff" that he has been doin', will make you pee "coke", NUFF SAID!



• When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

• Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

• Chuck Norris uses redhot lava to moisturize his skin.

• Chuck Norris invented the apple.

• Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.

• Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence,
which sucks for you.

• Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts.
You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately.
The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and
collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick.

• Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up.

• Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

• If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!

• Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.

• Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

• Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed
four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone?
The four dead birds didn't think so either.

• Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.

• P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.

• Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

• Chuck Norris' paradise is war.

• Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.